Transcript
Marcia Narine Weldon (00:00.846)
So welcome to the Illuminating Wisdom podcast. Today we have Dr. Martine Kanal. She is a doctor of nursing. She is a self-care strategist. She is your healthcare accountability partner and coach. And she has over 25 years of experience. She's also a co-author with me in our bestseller, Becoming You. And we're gonna talk a little bit about that. But she is the self-care queen. And I wanted to talk to you about that. You specialize in dealing with women over 40.
but I know a lot of the tips you're gonna give are gonna be applicable to everybody. So first of all, welcome to the show today.
Dr. Martine Canal (00:36.068)
Well, thank you for having me Marcia. I'm very honored to be in your podcast. And my goal in life is to be spreading, bringing awareness about self care so that everyone can have a productive, meaningful and joyful life. So thank you for having me.
Marcia Narine Weldon (00:55.746)
So you do something that is, I'm sure all branding people would love this. I have never seen an Instagram post that you have done where you have not said, what have you done for self care today? And every time I watch some like, yeah, what have I done for self care today? So tell me how you came up with that catchphrase and why is it important for you to repeat it every single time you do a post on social media?
Dr. Martine Canal (01:16.704)
Well, you just gave the answer, Marcia, because you just answered, because it will bring the awareness that is needed for us, for everyone to take care of ourselves, because we are living in, in a world where we always on the go, go. We are working. We are taking care of families. We are overachievers. So sometimes it needs someone.
to just ask that simple phrase to just bring you back and say, what did I do for me today? How did I take care of my physical health? How did I take care of my mental health? How did I take care of my social health? Because you can keep going with that simple phrase will make you stop and think.
Marcia Narine Weldon (02:01.518)
Absolutely.
Marcia Narine Weldon (02:05.718)
So let's talk about your definition of self-care, because I think everyone has a different one. For some people, it's being in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. For some people, it's getting a massage. Is that a shallow way to think of self-care, or how do you define it when you deal with your clients?
Dr. Martine Canal (02:21.432)
Well, first I always say it is the art of self care. Self care is very simple. It's basically the practice of putting yourself first and taking care of you. Simple. It doesn't have to be anything complex. It doesn't have to be a luxurious spa treatment or paying a lot of money to access a gym. No.
very, very simple, is taking care of you.
Marcia Narine Weldon (02:55.646)
Now that sounds easier said than done, right? And a lot of people, especially because you deal, especially with women over 40, are in what we call the sandwich generation or the club sandwich generation, where they're taking care of kids or grown kids who are still living at home or they're still supporting them. Plus they've got ailing and aging parents. They may have their own health issues, plus a job.
So what is specific when it comes to women over 40 and how are those needs a little bit different than maybe women under 40?
Dr. Martine Canal (03:26.496)
When as we are, I'm in that generation right now. So as we are aging, our bodies are changing and we have to be attentive to what our body needs. For example, we may have what we call, what we call bone loss, bone density loss. So we have to address that issue by doing practices.
to help strengthen our body, to help strengthen our bones. And we can do that with exercise, we can do that with diet. So I usually give strategies and tips to these women over 40, because I feel that right now that's what I'm going through. So I have the empathy for all these women over 40 right now. So I empathize with all of them.
Marcia Narine Weldon (04:20.077)
Okay, so I'm 56. Are the rules different for somebody who's in their mid-50s versus 40? Because you might be dealing with things like perimenopause and menopause, and all of those things can also make it just more difficult to take care of yourself. Now all the men have stopped listening, right? All the men listening to podcasts are like, I'm done, I'm out. Now we'll get back to other stuff, because I guarantee you, if you're listening to this podcast, you know women over 40, so please pay attention.
Dr. Martine Canal (04:27.478)
No.
Dr. Martine Canal (04:34.728)
Well, those changes starts after all the changes.
Dr. Martine Canal (04:47.372)
So those changes happen after 40, but everybody is different. We are all individuals. So you can start perimenopause in your mid-40s where someone can start 50s. So that is why you can apply all these techniques, these practices, according to what your body needs. Okay, it's not a set off for everybody and string rules and practices, no.
Marcia Narine Weldon (05:16.866)
So you have a medical background. What are a couple of foods that you, because you talked about diet and those kinds of things, what are a couple of foods that you know, generally, obviously everybody's different because of health issues, but that you know can help make people feel better? Not just, you know, eat your vegetables, but is there some specific food or supplement, and I know you're not giving medical advice.
Dr. Martine Canal (05:38.884)
Correct. And I usually say consult your own health care professional for any supplements or any medication, but just keep eating healthy. Meaning you're not eating junk food, which can make you feel good for just that particular moment, but then can have a negative outcome afterwards. But if you like a simple cup of tea.
just something to make you relax at the time. You can meditate with that and that will make you feel like you are taking care of yourself. Your stress level will go down. Just the fact that you're resting your body at that time and will give you some kind of clarity and you will feel better in the end. And this is what it is all about.
Marcia Narine Weldon (06:39.09)
I think it's really hard for people to do that. I was talking to some people this Saturday, I held a little mini retreat and I said, why don't you try to drink your coffee or your tea for five minutes doing nothing, just having a mindful moment, not listening to the music, not scrolling social media, not reading the newspaper, but just sit there and just feel the heat in your hand and feel the steam and notice the taste and notice all the smells. For so many people, especially busy women,
that's really hard because we feel like we have to multitask.
Dr. Martine Canal (07:07.86)
It is. And this is a skill that you have to learn because this is not how we were raised because we have got, we are overachievers, you and I, and I'm not a lot of women are, and we have to accomplish a lot of tasks in a short amount of time. And if we just sitting here holding the T we feel like it's time that we are losing, it's not productive for us. But yet we have to learn.
Marcia Narine Weldon (07:31.904)
Right.
Right.
Dr. Martine Canal (07:37.468)
that this is what sometimes our body needs in order for us to become stronger and gather all the strength and the power that we have inside so that we can function at a higher level.
Marcia Narine Weldon (07:52.774)
Yeah, so I think that is a skill. You're absolutely right. And you mentioned clarity. I think people would be surprised at the thoughts that come in when you're not trying to do something else. Sometimes you can get your biggest aha moments when you're just sitting there focusing on the tea or on the coffee or eating mindfully. But I want to switch gears for a minute because you are the self-care strategist. What are some myths about self-care that you think people should debunk?
Dr. Martine Canal (08:18.976)
Well, the number one that I think that they should debunk is self-care is selfish. It is absolutely not selfish. Actually you have got to take care of you so that you can take care of others. Because if you do not take care of yourself, then at one point you will not be able to take care of others. You have to fill up your cup. So taking time for yourself is an
absolute necessity it is not a luxury.
Marcia Narine Weldon (08:52.074)
Now I know you weren't always, you didn't always think that. And one of the things, you and I have been in this book, Becoming You, right? And in your book chapter, you talk about an epiphany you had a few years ago. What was that epiphany and how did that change your life?
Dr. Martine Canal (08:59.628)
Yes.
Dr. Martine Canal (09:08.262)
So, what was the epiphany and how did that change your life? That epiphany was that at that time I was at my absolute, I was making a lot of money. I was, I had my family and everything was working well, but then yet I didn't feel complete and I felt like at one point, the tipping point, I feel I could lose it all.
And then when I stopped to listen to my body, which I've been teaching others, I realized that I was not doing well at all. I had headaches. I was a little bit overweight. I was working constantly. My family took, they were on the back burner. I was not having a great relationship with my children. So at that time, I said, what am I doing to myself? I have got.
I have got to reset because all that money that I was making is not going to help me if I become sick, if I don't have a great relationship with my children. What's the meaning of all of this? So that's what happened. And then I kind of stepped back, refocused, and then here I am today. Much better me.
Marcia Narine Weldon (10:26.358)
You're a great man. Much better you. So you talked about taking care of yourself, but you also have been a caregiver. And when you were 16, your mother had a stroke. I want you to tell me how that affected you at the time. And now that you are older, how that affects you still to this day. Because it's different to be a caregiver when you're a teenager.
Dr. Martine Canal (10:50.284)
Well, I can tell you that...
Marcia Narine Weldon (10:54.675)
and being a caregiver or focusing as an older person.
Dr. Martine Canal (11:01.104)
I remember at the time, the first time I saw my mother in that hospital bed, not able to move, not able to talk. It was devastating. It was absolutely devastating. And then after I got over the shock, then I realized that the roles had switched, had changed. Instead of my mother taking care of me.
It was me taking care of my mother and supporting my sisters. So that I had to learn at an early age how to become a caregiver and how to survive in the world. Because now I didn't have any support from her at 16. And fast forward now.
Dr. Martine Canal (11:56.937)
I'm still a caregiver. But unfortunately right now, my mother is at a point where she needs so much care that I'm not able to provide it all for her. So I have help to help take care of her. But now I'm able to spread out the message on how this could have been avoided. Because she was in the early 40s.
Marcia Narine Weldon (12:20.674)
So how could it have been avoided? Because I think this is really important for the people listening who are overachievers, who might be team no sleep, or I'll sleep when I'm dead, or yeah, this all sounds really nice and theoretical, but you know, Martine does not know how busy I am. I've got the dance recitals and the soccer games and my boss getting on my neck, and I've gotta be back at work five days a week, and I've gotta commute, and I've gotta take care of this and that. Who has time for self care?
Dr. Martine Canal (12:44.972)
Well, I understand all that because I've been there. I have been there. But I have seen what a stroke can do to someone who's an overachiever and having all million things that they have to do in their schedule. It will just completely stop you in your track. And guess what's gonna happen? You will have to find a new lifestyle which will be confined
and people will have to tell you what to do. You lose your independence. You will lose your power. And when I had the epiphany, I didn't, that's the fear that I had, the fear that something like that would happen to me because I remember what happened to my mother and that just, no, I don't wanna live like that.
Marcia Narine Weldon (13:37.846)
So you said it could have been avoidable. Do you believe or did doctors tell you that stress was part of the cause of the stroke or where do you think that came from?
Dr. Martine Canal (13:45.34)
Why? She didn't take care of herself. She was so busy taking care of everybody else. She was a nurse too. But she didn't listen to her body. She had high blood pressure and it led to a stroke, massive stroke.
Marcia Narine Weldon (14:02.43)
And you know, and it's interesting because a very good friend of mine who was, you know, relatively young woman just had a stroke a few weeks ago. She was, you know, taking care of a person with cancer and a lot of stress in the family. My father's had several mini strokes and strokes run in my family. And it is, it's difficult because you have to balance that. I've got to take care of all these people. I've got to do all this stuff. I've got to pay the bills. But
Dr. Martine Canal (14:21.644)
Yes.
Marcia Narine Weldon (14:27.83)
You're right. There was a point when six years in a row, I was in the hospital for what doctors thought were heart attacks or strokes. Luckily, it wasn't any of them. I was like, I am too cute to be in the stroke ward. I am by far the youngest person here. Like people are like, who are you visiting? Like, no, my room is 213, right? You know, luckily it wasn't, but that was my body saying, if you're not gonna slow down, we're gonna slow you down. And I think people don't realize that, you know, there's a book, The Body Keeps the Score.
Dr. Martine Canal (14:49.31)
Correct.
Marcia Narine Weldon (14:55.038)
and the body will shut you down if you won't shut yourself down. So hopefully people who are listening to this as they're driving will really say, you know what, when was the last time I got a checkup? When was the last time I refilled that prescription? When was the last time I took a walk? Because, you know, like you're right, when you have that stroke or you're an ICU or you can no longer move all of the things that seem so important, they go away. They're gone.
Dr. Martine Canal (15:19.308)
And you have to be intentional into, you know, you have a busy schedule, but taking care of you is part of your schedule. You have to fit it in. You have to integrate it into your lifestyle. And if you have to put it in your calendar, you have to block that time for you. And when the time comes, you just have to set your boundaries and do you.
Marcia Narine Weldon (15:46.386)
And you know, it's, so people who have had babies have often heard, when the baby sleeps, you sleep. And I think if you're a caregiver, because there was a time earlier this year, last year when I was taking care of my mother who was going through chemotherapy and lung surgery, and my father who was in the late stages of dementia. And when she was in the hospital, I was taking care of him 24 seven before we got good help.
And I was up all night. It's like, how do people do this for a living all the time and still function? So when he would sleep, I would immediately make sure I could sleep no matter what. But I always had to have an ear open to make sure. So one of the other things I think is important, and you mentioned you've had to get help. And unfortunately, if people are living in the United States, our healthcare system and our healthcare system is terrible. Paying for assisted living facilities or paying for home care that you can trust is very difficult. And a lot of people say, I'll just do it myself. So...
If you could give some thoughts about self care for the caregiver, that would be really helpful too. Are there any specific tips that you have?
Dr. Martine Canal (16:43.1)
Well, I know that it is hard sometimes to balance, you know, taking care of your loved one and taking care of yourself. But at the end of the day, if you need help, like I said, I can get help. You can get what's called respite care where for a few hours during the day, you can have someone come and relieve you. And then you just step out and just focus.
on you and focus on everything else that you have to put the person right there. Okay. If it's reading a book, if it's listening to music, you just have to have your mind just shut down for that, for that moment and then re-energize, refuel with whatever you have and, um, rest if you need to rest.
And that's when you have to have this community support group around you. And sometimes you just have to get out in the community and not be shy about asking for help because there are people there that are there waiting for you to ask for help.
Marcia Narine Weldon (17:54.398)
I think that's really important, whether it's family members, whether you have to pay somebody. And for many people whose family members are on government benefits, my father was a veteran, there was a respite care program. We didn't find out until very late, but I didn't even know. And I didn't even know that was a thing. So I'm glad you've mentioned that. Some people who might be older, they might be on Medicare or Medicaid or their insurance. But look into the concept of respite care, because sometimes just that two hours,
can make all, so you can take a shower, feel clean, and just sit down and read a book with your tea for a couple of hours, can be just super rejuvenating. And people think, oh, if I don't have a full day off, it doesn't matter, but sometimes just that two hours when you're focusing, like you said, on yourself can make a difference.
Dr. Martine Canal (18:36.916)
And just don't be alone during that time. Find people that are going through the same things you are going through. Build up that community because then you can depend on each other.
Marcia Narine Weldon (18:54.186)
and they'll know what you're going through. And another thing is thinking about caregiver support groups because sometimes when you're dealing with other people, they don't realize how hard it is to deal with those kinds of issues because they haven't had to deal with it. And it is easier to take care of a baby than it is to take care of an older, sicker person, to be honest, you know? Yeah, so it's the same. Mm-hmm.
Dr. Martine Canal (19:14.58)
It's kind of the same though, because I recently took care of my dad, and he was very confused. You had to watch him all the time, all the time, everything, everything.
Marcia Narine Weldon (19:21.386)
Yeah, I get it. Changing diapers, all those stuff in there, done that. Yep. So I'm going to switch gears to a topic that is, is a little sad, but I want you to raise it in your book. And I think it can help other people. In the book chapter, you talked about a betrayal from your ex-husband.
I don't know how much detail you want to go into it, but to the extent that you can help our listeners understand how do you deal with self-care when you're dealing with a significant emotional betrayal, when you just kind of want to fall through the floor. The last thing you want to do is think about taking care of yourself, partly because some people may not even feel worthy of taking care of themselves.
Dr. Martine Canal (20:03.636)
Well, part of the epiphany that I had, Marcia, is that I had been separated, not divorced yet, separated from my husband for like seven years. And what I did was ignore, ignore my feelings, ignore my emotions, and just pretend that didn't happen. So what happens when you ignore something?
it will come up. So that's why I was having this pain. I didn't know what was nagging me, but it was there. So after I had this awareness that I had to deal with my emotions, you have to deal and sometimes just having a support group, because I remember I started talking with people and you know, sometimes you can get good advice, but
Marcia Narine Weldon (20:59.75)
Exactly.
Dr. Martine Canal (20:59.908)
At least you are speaking to someone and it's laying it out of your chest and that heaviness that you feel. And then I know that I had to deal with the issue. I had to deal with it. And then one thing for me that I realized that in order for me to heal from this, I think for me was a tragedy because I, you know, I really believe in trust.
and um fidelity and all that in the marriage but in order for me to move on I had to forgive not only forgive him but I had to forgive myself because I was blaming me for not seeing what was going on because I was too busy doing other things like work and I had to forgive myself and it took a while it took a long time and I had this grudge
Marcia Narine Weldon (21:47.669)
Right.
Dr. Martine Canal (21:57.44)
But then I realized that person was moving on with his life. And I was the one having all these negative feelings. And that was hurting me. And that was increasing my anxiety, was increasing my stress level. It was doing all sorts of negative input into my body. And my blood pressure was increasing. I was having palpitations. It was... So I had to deal with that. So dealing...
Marcia Narine Weldon (22:24.282)
And I'm glad you raised the issue of the physical issues, right? And you're a nurse and you can, you know, clearly more qualified to speak on this than I am, but I did a lot of research on forgiveness and anger and the medical aspects of it, right? And there are documented studies about what it does to your heart rate, to your cortisol level, to inflammation, to, you know, so many issues that anger can cause in the body that people don't realize. And so I'm glad you recognize that it can have physical,
whether you feel angry or whether you feel shame, all of that stuff. And actually when I had been in the hospital all those different times, there was anger and resentment at people that I didn't want to let out. Right. Because like, who am I to be angry? I'm spiritual. Right. And then once I started to forgive myself and forgive other people, whether they asked for it or not, because most people are not going to ask for your forgiveness, especially the person who really needs to ask for it. The last thing they're going to do is ask for it. Right.
Dr. Martine Canal (23:08.437)
Right.
Marcia Narine Weldon (23:22.442)
I haven't been back to the hospital since then, knock wood, for those fears of heart attacks or strokes. So I'm taking better care of myself also, but the bigger issue is releasing that anger, releasing that shame, and releasing that need to be right, releasing that need to have that apology.
Dr. Martine Canal (23:41.388)
Right. And we're all humans. I mean, I understand now. And some people say, well, they make mistakes. Correct. And, but we're all human and we have to, to be knowledgeable that we have, we, we cannot be that rigid. We cannot be so severe with ourselves that we're not letting go. It's about letting go. And it's okay to let go.
mostly of things that don't serve us. Like that anger and that anxiety and that pain, I was holding onto it. And it took time, but I'm still in process.
Marcia Narine Weldon (24:11.758)
Absolutely.
Marcia Narine Weldon (24:24.67)
And there's a lot of people who like to dwell in the suffering, right? Because it's difficult to forgive and it's difficult to forgive yourself. And it's difficult to let go for sure. But I'm going to talk about letting go in another way. You and I both have a love of travel. As a matter of fact, you just came back from a fantastic trip. So you've been to over 30 countries. How does travel constitute self-care for you? And in your travels, have you seen any traditions or rituals
Dr. Martine Canal (24:25.453)
No, thank you.
Marcia Narine Weldon (24:54.864)
that you adopted and maybe can suggest to our listeners about self-care. So for example, you know, you go to some parts of the world and you could sit there at the cafe for four hours with a glass of water in your newspaper and no waiter is gonna shove you away, right? And you could just sit there and relax and enjoy and watch the passers-by. We're here like you're still eating and they're putting the check and saying can you pay out because I'm about to, you know...
Dr. Martine Canal (25:09.476)
Great.
Marcia Narine Weldon (25:16.83)
I'm ending my shift, right? So that's an example of one of the things that I think about that, you know, sometimes it's nice to sit at an outdoor cafe with your water or your wine or your coffee and your newspaper and just watch the passersby and not have anybody bother you because you're taking care of yourself. You're not worried about, I've gotta let the people get the next table or that kind of thing.
Dr. Martine Canal (25:29.676)
And this.
Dr. Martine Canal (25:35.916)
Well, this is, I actually had to learn to be able to sit there at a cafe for a long period of time because I was looking at it. Where's the waiter? How come he's not coming with the check? So this is a practice that I really, really love. And this is all over Europe that I went there and I went to Peru and they are very respectful of you enjoying your time because they don't know what you're going through and exactly what you're doing.
And if you're there with a glass of wine and enjoying your time, they're going to give it to you. They're going to let you do that self care. But, uh, I, I actually have travel. I put travel and self care for me personally, because everybody has their own way of practicing self care. I put it together because first of all, when I travel,
I work on my physical health, I work on my mental health, and I work on my social health. I am very physically active. I exercise depending on where I go. Whatever they have, that's what I'm going to use. If I go to a hotel, like I went to, where was I? In Paris. They did not have a gym in the hotel. It was a beautiful hotel. But what did I do? I just walked. I walked.
Marcia Narine Weldon (26:57.034)
Walk the streets of Paris. Yep.
Dr. Martine Canal (26:58.676)
And I walked for hours, for hours, and I got to meet some wonderful people working on your social health. You learn about a new culture, about a new food, right? And then mentally, you're happy. I was happy.
Marcia Narine Weldon (27:14.186)
What is social health, by the way you've mentioned? I think I know what you mean by it, but I don't think that's a term that people are aware of. They typically hear of physical health, emotional health, mental health. What is social health?
Dr. Martine Canal (27:24.013)
It's how you take care of you and your surroundings in terms of friends and family and work. Because sometimes you can give, give.
and then you don't recoup any. And that can affect you mentally. It can bring you depression. It can bring you loneliness. So working on your social health and also allowing the right people to be in your circle. You're not gonna have somebody who's gonna drain you all the time. They're gonna keep taking from you and not giving back. Your family, you have to work on your family ties.
Marcia Narine Weldon (28:04.685)
Right.
Dr. Martine Canal (28:08.96)
You have to nurture relationships. It can be at work, it can be your friends, it can be your family. So that's what I call social health. Because you want to be surrounded by people that will up-level you, that will make you be happy. Right?
Marcia Narine Weldon (28:28.03)
I think that's really important because loneliness is a worldwide epidemic and there are studies that talk about the people who live the longest tend to have a strong family and friend connection group and some people can't stand their family so if you can't strengthen those ties then you find those friends who are like family but when there are people who have nobody they can talk to, nobody that they feel cares about them.
you know, all their friends are on some social media app, when in fact, you know, they don't even know these people. That's what I think is, and that leads to, you know, to just depression and anxiety and all of those kinds of issues that you were talking about before.
Dr. Martine Canal (29:05.32)
I just came back from Peru and you couldn't believe I was very, very shocked how they value family.
And I'm thinking, and I'm thinking that's what I brought back with me. I said, really? I really have to focus and be intentional about nurturing the relationship that I have with my kids. Because when I look at what they're doing and what I'm doing, sometimes my kids and I, we come home, we're so busy and then we get something to eat and my son goes to the bedroom, my daughter is there on the kitchen counter and I'm sitting in the, on the couch watching TV.
But now, I put everything in that, even if I stand on the kitchen counter, and then I call my son, we have to have some kind of conversation going. You have to nurture that relationship. So it's this work in progress, but it's there.
Marcia Narine Weldon (30:02.734)
Yeah, I think if I had to do it all over again with my son, I would have made sure we ate as many meals together as possible sitting at the table without any kind of video games or TV. And that sounds super idealistic, but there are people that do that all the time and have those kinds of conversations. Right.
Dr. Martine Canal (30:17.292)
the time. They play together, they have conversations, right? The communication is there. And they look so much more relaxed. They look happy. Yeah. The stress is down.
Marcia Narine Weldon (30:32.582)
Absolutely. So he stresses down.
So go back to the self care now. There's some people who say you've got to have a morning ritual and then it's like three and a half hours and by that time you're too tired to function, right? Or some people might say you've got to meditate and you've got to do your breath work and then you've got to pray and then you've got to journal and then you've got to walk and get the sunlight in your eyes all by seven a.m. Or at night you've got to do this, and this and that you must have those rituals to be productive. So number one, do you have any daily rituals? And if so,
Dr. Martine Canal (30:39.129)
Mm-hmm.
Marcia Narine Weldon (31:04.97)
What happens when you don't do them? Or do you say, look, I just roll out of bed like this and I go to sleep and it is what it is and I'm doing just fine?
Dr. Martine Canal (31:12.712)
No, I try first of all, it's about being intentional with your week. You have got to plan. You cannot just wake up today and say, OK, I'm going to do this. And no, the day before, you know exactly what you're going to be doing. For me, I start working very early in the morning. And it's all about like I call I have the three steps to self care. First, you acknowledge acknowledge, acknowledge that you have.
Marcia Narine Weldon (31:34.71)
Good, I was gonna ask you that question next. So let's talk about your three steps to self care.
Dr. Martine Canal (31:41.584)
to set the time for yourself, put yourself first, listen to your body, and then practice self care. You have to acknowledge that. You have to have the awareness, the mindset for it, because then you have knowledge. Correct. Step two, you set the environment.
Marcia Narine Weldon (31:52.598)
So step one, acknowledge that you need to take care of yourself.
Dr. Martine Canal (32:02.432)
I'm very busy every day. I work a lot. And you know, when I had the epiphany, I didn't stop working. No, I had to just reorganize my life. I had to have the integration work-life balance. So I reorganized. So setting the environment is looking at your schedule and say, okay, when can I plug in? Where can I integrate my self-care rituals?
Dr. Martine Canal (32:31.572)
I had to do it before work. And that meant waking up earlier. And that is a hard thing to do, but you know what? You create habits. The more you do it, the more at 3 o'clock in the morning, your eyes are going to open, and you're going to say, OK, you have to get up. The beginning.
Marcia Narine Weldon (32:47.018)
Okay. You probably lost a bunch of people there with that waking up at three o'clock in the morning. Then like I was with her for the first 20 minutes, but now I don't know about that.
Dr. Martine Canal (32:50.748)
they can go back, they can go back. Sometimes I do post on Facebook, sometimes I do post, you see me at 3 in the morning, 3.30 in the morning, bicycling, but you have to set what works for you and integrate. And it does not have to be three hours. It can be 10 minutes of walking. It can be 10 minutes bicycling or just some stretching, some yoga, or you're just sitting down and meditating. Journaling is very important, right? 10 minutes.
If you do more, good, good for you. But it's, it's not a matter of how long it's a matter of you actually practicing self care. And then once you set the environment and sometimes you have got to close your door. Okay. If you have the whole family there for you to take a bubble bath and do not enter, do not knock, do not do anything until I'm done and, and really be intentional about telling them that you are serious about having
your me time. They didn't disturb you. So you make sure that, you know, everything is done so that they don't like this, don't come on me. We hungry, we hungry, you know, everything is said. But then when it's your time, it's you. And then do what you love.
I would not start an exercise like boxing. I don't think I'm gonna like it. So if I don't like something, I'm not gonna do it. So do what you love. I love dancing, I love doing bicycling, I like swimming. So those are the things I'm gonna practice because then I will want to continue it and perform it again and again and have this continuum.
And now I know that I'm taking care of myself. I like meditating. And I'm gonna do it. So you do what you love to do so that you can practice self care. And that you will be able to do it on a daily routine.
Marcia Narine Weldon (35:00.226)
So let's do a recap. Your three steps to self care are.
Dr. Martine Canal (35:04.132)
Acknowledging that you need to take time for yourself, put yourself first. Number two, setting the environment for you to practice self-care. It can be going outside, it can be you taking a bubble bath, whatever it is, you're setting the boundaries and you're letting everybody know this is your me time. And number three, you do what you love. So that way you will be able to continue practicing self-care and you will not feel that it's a burden.
that you have to do.
Marcia Narine Weldon (35:37.778)
Love it. So let me ask you this. If there is there a book or a song or a mantra or a film or something that really touched your life that really affected you that you'd want to share with the listeners?
Dr. Martine Canal (35:52.448)
You know that movie that I watch every single year is the last holiday. Last holiday. And that reminds me that you may be in the routine of working hard for what? You don't know you're working for something, but you have got to take the time and take care of yourself because something may come, you may get a diagnosis.
that is life altering and then you look back and say, what did I do with my life? So that is why that movie is dear to my heart. I watch it a couple of times a year because it reminds me that time is precious. I have to take care of myself because I don't want to end up with a life altering diagnosis. And then my whole life changes and I do not get control.
I lose power, I lose my independence, and I'm thinking that I'm gonna die. So that's a movie that I love to watch. And you don't, I always say life is to be enjoyed. You have got to have a productive, meaningful, and joyful life. Because as I just said,
When we get to our older years, we don't know to when, but you want to look back and you want to have a sense that you have accomplished something. You had a meaningful, you make, you made an impact in your world, whatever your world is and that you have enjoyed every single day of it. I live my life every single day. Like it's the last because you don't know.
what may happen tomorrow. And I'm in an environment where I see it all the time. People's life changes. They change it and then they look at me powerless. And then you feel that empathy. You feel, you know, you feel, you know, what could you have done to prevent this? And most of the time it can be prevented.
Marcia Narine Weldon (38:11.486)
I think that's another important point because so many diseases, chronic diseases or otherwise are preventable and we focus so much on our kids or on our parents or on our boss or our neighbors or whatever it is, but realizing that we can prevent so many of the things and there's talk about stress levels and how that could lead to so many diseases, whether it's certain kinds of cancers, et cetera. Again, I'm not a doctor and you are a medical professional.
So I will leave it to you to say, but it is really important that we realize that we've got to keep our, let me make sure I've got them, our social health, our emotional health, mental health, physical health.
Dr. Martine Canal (38:50.724)
It's not.
Yes. And I talk about it all the time because I want people to realize that we are whole. We just like another myth is that self-care is only for mental people that have mental disability. No, no, no. We are a whole human being. We have to take care of all parts of us.
Marcia Narine Weldon (39:18.506)
Absolutely. So if there's one thing you wanted our listeners to know or remember from this conversation, what's the biggest takeaway? If they remember nothing else, what would that be?
Dr. Martine Canal (39:33.992)
Oh, you have got that. What did you do for self-care today? I want this to resonate with them every single day, by the end of the day, to be able to, you know, you examine your body, what I call assessment, you assess yourself. You say, what did you do with your day? You say, was it positive, was it negative? Did you stress level, did I exercise? You assess.
And then you're able to plan, plan for the next day. Okay. Once you plan, then you execute your action. Then you evaluate, and it's a whole cycle that keeps going around and around, and unfortunately, self-care is not something you do today and you're done. No, it's a continuous regimen that you will have.
to continue for the rest of your life. No? You're not gonna retire.
Marcia Narine Weldon (40:32.746)
And if you're doing something you love, it's not a bad thing, right? It's not like flossing, right? It's not everybody loves to do, but if you're doing something that you love, you acknowledge that you need to take care of yourself, you set that right environment, and you do something you love, then self-care is not work. It's a joy, and you look forward to it.
Dr. Martine Canal (40:50.124)
Your love.
Correct, correct, correct. You look forward having time with your family, you will look forward traveling and then, I don't know, hiking to Machu Picchu, you enjoy and all that you are physically challenging yourself. I went to the jungle in Peru. Now talk about challenge. Yes, mentally, physically.
And then I did bond with other people that I didn't even know there was such a thing as ayahuasca. I learned about ayahuasca.
Marcia Narine Weldon (41:26.45)
Ah, did you do a ceremony?
Dr. Martine Canal (41:29.48)
I sure did. I did. And it was, it was. And you know, I never realized how big that was. Mostly because, I don't know, because it was there, but you should see how huge that community is.
Marcia Narine Weldon (41:31.507)
Well, we do talk.
Marcia Narine Weldon (41:43.582)
Oh no, I know, because I actually did my ayahuasca ceremonies in Peru. I went to Peru last year, a year ago, a year and a half ago, and did Machu Picchu and that stuff the first week, and then the second week was in the jungle, right in the Amazon in Tarapoto, and had three ceremonies in six days. It changed my life. It changed how I look at everything.
Dr. Martine Canal (41:46.196)
Oh you did? Yes.
Dr. Martine Canal (42:01.112)
Yes. Yes, and it's all about that self-awareness and it's a self-actualization. What do you want to do with your life? It's not just material things. No, not.
Marcia Narine Weldon (42:12.866)
And to be clear, we're not recommending, and Dr. Canal is not recommending that you go out and do this without speaking to your practitioner. I actually talked to my doctor before I did it. He's like, you're the first person that's ever asked me about that. I said, I'm not your first patient that's ever done it. I'm just the first patient that's ever asked you because I didn't want to collapse and die in Amazon.
Dr. Martine Canal (42:18.574)
Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
Dr. Martine Canal (42:30.444)
Okay.
Yeah, in this world, there's so many different practices that you can take in order to, you know, it can be as simple as just walking, you know, or doing ayahuasca. But it's doing what you love. And personally, for me, I like to learn new ways of practicing self care.
This is why I try new things. And some people don't like to try new things. They don't want to do what they're comfortable with. And that's okay. If you just wanna walk every day or do karate and that's all you grew up with, that's fine. As long as you're challenging your body and you're growing.
Marcia Narine Weldon (43:21.89)
groaning or growing? Maybe a little bit of both. Okay, that's like that's what's supposed to groan. But maybe a little bit of both. So I want to end on this. You work with women over 40. You help them with strategies. You help busy people. You know how to overcome all those challenges. How can people work with you?
Dr. Martine Canal (43:23.454)
Get groovy!
Dr. Martine Canal (43:36.514)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Martine Canal (43:44.16)
Well, I do have a Facebook group that I, a self-care empowerment circle, where I provide tips and strategies to women over 40 to help them with their daily life, because it's all about us living our best life. So anybody that joins a group, women over 40, they, of course, they can also input, it's not my group, it's our group. And also I have
I can do one-on-one if you need more accountability. And then what we do, we actually work around your schedule and what you do and how you feel so that you can come out a better, stronger person in terms of your physical, mental and social health. Yeah, and then I write a book. I'm in the middle of writing another book.
So that will come out. It's all about inspiring. It's all about bringing awareness. You know, and I also want to start my workshop in Miami and in Florida. So I want to do self-care workshops because I think it's very important to not only take the time these women when if they come when they come to my workshop, it's because they want to focus on themselves. And so I take that time to have them just
Marcia Narine Weldon (44:42.678)
Good for you.
Marcia Narine Weldon (44:48.571)
Excellent.
Dr. Martine Canal (45:12.92)
focus and be intentional about listening to their body and doing activities that are gonna challenge their physical, mental, and then socially, they get to be in a community of like-minded people so that we can support each other and grow. That's fine.
Marcia Narine Weldon (45:32.134)
Excellent. I'm going to close out with this. Do you have a personal motto? Besides what did you do for self care today?
Dr. Martine Canal (45:40.996)
When you know better, you do better.
Marcia Narine Weldon (45:44.854)
Because I know you're also inspired by Maya Angelou as well. So that is a perfect way to do it. When you know better, you do better. So for those of you who have listened, please make sure you like, share, and subscribe to the podcast. We will have links to all of Martine's different offerings as well. And now that you know better and you know about self-care, we know you're going to do better. Thanks again so much for being on the podcast today.
Dr. Martine Canal (45:47.34)
Correct. Oh.
you did better.
Dr. Martine Canal (46:08.756)
Oh, thank you for having me, Marcia. It was a pleasure.
